love my job!

still LOVING what i am doing!!! i'm beginning to be able to function/think on my own without having to ask questions every other second. was able to see a couple heart patients yesterday on my own-check their ICU flow sheets, see how they were tolerating feeds, see any weight gain, etc. it's cool with little babies because they have a certain growth velocity they should be gaining every day (example-20-30 grams a day) and so you can really chart whether their formula they are on is working for them or not. and i wrote and signed my own notes! i feel like a little kid getting excited over that...but it's exciting for me haha.

i completed my own consult today too for an EIGHT day old baby-eek! so so tiny! he was in the hospital because he had been feeding really poorly and losing weight-he isn't below his birth weight yet, so hopefully he starts gaining instead of losing. i called the medical team taking care of this little guy and explained why we needed to up his formula rate to give him more calories and protein...annnd get this, they asked ME if i wanted them to change the order! what is that?! typically doctors completely write me off with any suggestions. it was great to see the order change within 10 minutes of talking to them! i was a nervous wreck before they called, but i survived :)

anyways, that was my day today...i love it! i applied to a job at cincinnati children's yesterday, so please say a prayer. i'm not counting on getting a peds job right out of this fellowship (even though that would be ideal), so we'll see what happens.

quick update.

four days into everything and still loving it!!! like i said before the dietitian i am with is a saint and is ammmmazing at being patient with me and she is super smart. i'm doing my cardiology rotation right now and working mainly with cardiac transplants. i LOVE it! i don't know how long it's been since i've had four straight days of work that i love...a long time, that's for sure. haven't done TOO much, still just shadowing, but i have my computer access, so i should be able to do a little more! a patient waiting for a heart was listed on the transplant list thursday and got a heart saturday!!! so that is WAY exciting- hearts don't come around that quickly usually. pray this little guy stays healthy and recovers quickly.

i am currently applying to a job at Cincinnati Children's, so please say a prayer if you remember. i am trying to be hopeful about it and think positively...i've been stuck in a hopeless rut lately and don't want that to be hanging over my head when i start reapplying again. more soon once i have INTERNET on wednesday, ptl.

day one!

day one started out terribly and ended wonderfully!! i had my physical this morning and then had to get bloodwork drawn for my titers (hep A, rubella, chicken pox, etc) so if i don't have antibodies to them, i can get a free vaccination. kind of nice, but i don't like getting blood drawn. however, i am not scared of getting it drawn...i've had it taken so many times over the years that i'm OK with it. i sat down and told the nurse "i'm not so good with needles, but i've never passed out". so what do i do?? I PASS OUT! i was soo embarrassed! she had to stick me twice and made me squeeze a ball so i think i got freaked out thinking about how i was pumping blood out of my body. and i fainted. and woke up to four nurses holding my head up, holding ice packs on me and fanning me. haha horrible.

but i worked with a fabulous dietitian and she gave me a tour of the hospital, showing me where everyone covers, what unit clerks to avoid and what she does. i'm SO excited to really start getting into it and learning how to function on my own there. she was telling me how much more dietitians are valued over there and how they are more involved in the patient's care. i am going to enjoy working here so much, i can already tell. i was a tad overwhelmed just because not only do i need to get back into writing assessments, but i need to learn how to assess pediatric patients. MUCH different than adults.

i have a feeling i am going to appreciate my health and the health of those kids in my life that are healthy. the dietitian i was with was telling my how a couple of patients have already died on her and how upset she was. these poor kiddos were dealt a rotten hand for the beginning of their lives and i have a feeling i'm going to be doing a lot of praying as i come into contact with these kids. say a little pray for a sweet two month old baby girl i met this morning, she is waiting for a new heart. i'm so excited though to be doing this. i finally felt the Lord's blessing on this opportunity today.

here we go!

welp, i start monday with my pediatric fellowship at the Children's Hospital of Michigan! i'm pretty excited and no where NEAR as nervous as starting my internship (thank you Lord.). otherwise, i wouldn't have eaten much the past month and that hasn't seemed to be a problem :) i'll be doing four three week rotations in neurology, gastrointestinal, cardiac and hemotology/oncology. not sure of the order yet, but i'm working with some awesome dietitians and am really excited!! tune in next week for an update :)

new blog!

soo im graduating this blog and am starting a new one :)
i have no clue if anyone reads or checks my blog anymore, but my new blog is http://megs486.blogspot.com/. happy blogging!

so close.

i can almost taste freedom!!! its at the tip of my fingers...only 2 1/2 days until i am DONE with this internship!!! i can't believe it. yes at times it seemed to draggg on, but it has FLOWN by otherwise really. tina, dave and taylor are coming up thursday for graduation and then we all go out to dinner with all the dietitians and families, etc thursday night. it should be fun!! still waiting to hear about the part-time job....say a prayer for me. i really want to hear about it! if not, maybe i'll get a christmas-nothing job to earn a little christmas money. who knows...im trying not to worry about money right now. if i think about it too much, i'll start freaking out and i don't need that yet. i want to actually EAT thanksgiving dinner this year...last year i was so stressed out and sick that i didn't eat much of thanksgiving dinner. or anything of that matter until i moved to michigan ha. that sucked. but im trying to stay calm, patient and remember that im in better hands than mine, better hand than i can even imagine. so thats what i keep reminding myself when i feel the need to take over and plan everything out. its not in my hands and when i really think about it, im glad in not in charge, i don't think i'd do a very good job.

four days til i move HOME, five days til i get to spend more than a weekend with jordan (and see helen/brad/everett & go to church), 8 days til im reunited with my best friends ever, annnd 2 weeks and 2 days til im reunited with kimberly!!! good couple of weeks ahead :) :)

purpose.

so frustrated with my staffing. i feel like my job is worthless. like i don't make any bit of difference with what i am doing. i never get very many consults and feel like dietitians are not really utilized where i am. i hope thats not the case at every hospital. i don't like working with adults who don't care at all about their health and thus have put themselves in the position they are in...i.e. having diabetes, high blood pressure, kidney failure, liver failure because they drink too much. maybe this is a bad attitude for a dietitian to have, but when a person has had diabetes for 10+ years, have never done anything to control it, and are in the hospital for a couple days...i feel like my efforts to see if they want diet education are futile. maybe inpatient clinical is not the place for me with adults...maybe its the population of detroit...maybe i just need to remember how i loved my pediatric rotation. i don't know. and i hate feeling this negatively so much towards this when im so close to being done. but its scary to me that i feel like this and am ready to go out into the real world. i don't want to go back to school...but don't really know if this is what i'm called to do. if it isn't, then what is it??

enough complaining already. i just want to have a job i love. something that i ENJOY doing. not that i dread going to work for and feeling like i need to hide because i don't want to look stupid in front of a doctor. i want to make a difference. i want to do something that the Lord is calling me into, where i can affect people's lives in some way. and where i feel CONFIDENT in what i am doing and confident in who i am with whatever job i am doing. i don't feel that where i am right now and i don't like that feeling. seven more days...can't wait to be done.

on a happier note, jordan came up for one last time and it was a perfect weekend. he took me to the melting pot for graduation and it was AMAZINGGG!!! it was so delicious. and just so nice to be together for a weekend, hang out, be a normal couple. can't wait for four whole days in c-town soon and a week with my best friends then a weekend with kimberrrly!!! yay for perfect friends.