hope.

today was the first day i felt really overwhelmed by all the sickness and sadness i've been seeing the past weekend and a half. the floors that i have been seeing patients are all fighting for their lives right now. and a lot of the cases i've read through are not very hopeful in the medical world. but some of these patients i've talked to, even if for five minutes, are happy. not all of them, but some. and i can't help but wonder that if that was me, i'm not so sure i would have that strength to be so happy. i think though, that some of them learn a new kind of hope. and thats what i'm learning too, but its hard. so much sickness and hurt happening to moms, dads, daughters, sons, sisters, brothers...to people that don't deserve it. good thing we have a Father watching over us, who won't ever leave, even when everything else seems to be falling down around us. be thankful for your health, we too often take it for granted. and don't forget to tell those around you that you love them :)

home.

today i went to toledo to find bridesmaid dresses with sam and amber. we were successful and found really pretty ones! then my mom bribed me to come home since toledo was so close since she already had dinner made and everything. i have had sort of a stressful weekend, so needless to say, i was easily convinced and went home just for a few hours. and it was juuuust what i needed. i have the best family everrr, just so you know. it was perfect.

blah.

blah on michigan weather...im supposed to be going to toledo to shop for bridesmaid dresses with sam and amber, but its supposed to start snowing really heavily when im supposed to go. ugh.

class was good yesterday. really interesting stuff in our renal lecture about dialysis and all that. holy cow, i didn't realize at all how involved dialysis really was. hemodialysis is the type that takes all your blood out, cleans it, and puts it back in you. with big big needles involved. and peritoneal dialysis is where you hook a bag of special fluid up to an opening in your abdomen and it drain into your peritoneum (a big membrane covering your abdominal organs) and it stays in there for a while, then they have drain all the fluid back into the bag thats still attatched to your stomach. then they have to start all over again for like 4-5 times a day. intense stuff. im glad i have functioning kidneys. we also learned about kids born with prune belly syndrome, where they are born with NO abdominal muscles!! how weird is that?? it causes big time kidney problems.

alright...i think im headed out to get stuff to make cookies or something before this stupid storm hits. im going home next weekend and i cant WAIT.

getting better.

today was better. still overwhelming, but getting better. i am getting better at going through the EMR system and finding the information i need. i had to track down three patient charts on the floor and was successful too! thats a big deal really on a floor where charts are near impossible to track down! there are so many kinds of leukemia, cancer, etc. and its crazy to me. its like every patient has a different kind with a different complicated name. i think its scary to me to be talking to patients who are so incredibly sick. one patient was getting a bone marrow transplant because their original chemo used to get rid of their first cancer ended up causing leukemia. they don't use it anymore obviously. but how terrible is that?? puts things into perspective and i have so much to be thankful for.

i did talk to my first patient today and it went really well. didn't really say much, but they were really friendly and pleasant to talk to. my preceptor was GREAT about it too, she was super good about reminding me that she wasn't going to just leave me and would be there if i needed help. and when i left today she said i did a wonnnderful job for my first time. made me feel MUCH better, even though i don't think i was that wonderful! lol. tomorrow i have to give two presentations on label reading, BLAH. but its almost friday, which is a very good thing :)

day one for real.

today was my first real clinical day at the karmanos institute for cancer and it was of course, overwhelming. no other words really to describe it. my preceptor has been an oncology RD for 35 years which is a little intimidating, but she was great and very patient with me today. i was almost in tears this afternoon because i felt really stupid and that like i knew nothing of what i needed to know. im suuuuper scared to talk to patients too. these floors are definatley have a different air to them. these patients are super super sick and bascially need to be pumped full of whatever food they can tolerate. a lot of the patients we saw today had very advanced cancer or stem cell transplants. i didn't talk to any patients today, but i did write a progress note for a very sick patient with advanced cancer. my preceptor, Ladonna, taught me how to enter them into the EMR and how to put in diet orders and all that. super confusing, but im learning a lot.

weird fact of the day that i learned...there are 2 types of stem cell transplants, one where your original stem cells are frozen and given back to a patient after high doses of chemo (autologous), and one where a patient recieves stem cells from another individual (allogenic). well, if you have an allogenic transplant, you have TWO types of DNA in your body! your own in your blood, and the donor's DNA in your bone marrow!! weird huh?

so anyways, thats what i did today. nothing too exciting, just a lot of information being shoved into my brain. day two update tomorrow...say a prayer for me!!

finally!

i feel like my internship has finally started today. i had my first clinical rotation at harper hospital and it was very overwhelming. i worked with nancy, the director of the internship for the whole day. she took me around the floors and showed me where to find charts, and she also showed me how to access the emr's (electronic medical records) which are SO confusing. Progress notes in medical charts are being changed with how dietitian's write them, like completley changed. so its a huge transition time not only for us interns, learning, but the other dietitians learning how to use the new system. we had a couple of consults to do on patients so nancy gave me two and told me to go find out about them on the their emr and report back to her...eek. i gathered lots of information, a lot of it was hard to work through because i don't know most of the medical jargon yet.

nancy looked over it and looked at me and said, "well, what are you going to do for this patient?" ah! i hadn't the foggiest! she was patient with me though and helped me work through it and had me do a mock assessment with her. i could definetley see how school conditioned me to talk in a certain way, and thats NOT how you talk to real life people. so it was great she went through that with me. tomorrow i am with a dietitian that works on the oncology floor and i should be talking to patients by thursday...ahhh. but its good, i feel like im FINALLY starting. and i was SO excited to be on the floors and diving into all things medical! exciting stuff! now off to ichat with my roomies and work on some medication lists...

clincials tomorrow!

i start my clinical rotations tomorrow at harper hospital! eek!! i havent updated in a while because there's been nothing interesting to update on. i finished up my foodservice rotation friday, thank goodness!! i start actually seeing patients tomorrow...so it will be really weird/scary/exciting! i dont feel old enough to be doing this stuff yet. where did the past like 5 years go?

i went to ctown last weekend and jordan was here this weekend, so im grateful i've gotten to see him the past 2 weeks. we went to bahama breeze for vday! not ON vday cause the wait was 2 hours, but for lunch today haha. we're so romantic really...we didn't even have presents ready for each other haha. im just thankful we're only 4 hours aways from each other, not a plane ride. stupid long distance. went to the red wings game thursday w/ dave and tina and that was a blast! ok...i'll update more tomorrow after my first clinical day!!

excited!

i met a family tonight that i found on sitter city and they were great! they have two adorable kids, ethan whos 19 months and has a head FULL of brown curly hair and josie who is only two months old. both mom and dad are great and SO nice! im so excited! they seem like such great parents and were so cute together. im going over tomorrow to hang out with little ethan, who gave me a hug the second i walked in the door and julie, the mom for a while. yay!!

work today was fine...nothing new or exciting. i cant wait for tomorrow!

peace.

good weekend! lori and i went to dinner friday night and played wii the rest of the evening. she has the price is right wii game!! its awesome!! i would highly recommend it :) then saturday we went to ikea because she has never been and that was fun. ikea is always a fun time. i can't wait to have my own house/apartment/whatever so i can decorate it! well and money too...i guess decorating and money kind of go hand in hand unfortunely. i got to ichat with jordan for a while and did some homework and finished twlight book one again all on saturday night haha.

im still trying to be patient and not get to anxious about this stupid rotation to be over, but its hard. im ready to get into clinicals and LEARN how to be a dietitian. because im not so far, and i've been here a month (craziness!). i do like going up on the floors and getting to see kids though. i feel better when i can do that and i can pray for those little ones. i may not know anything but their situation, but i feel good when i can do that for them. pray for healing, strength, whatever i get the feeling to pray for. its fun and makes me feel more peaceful about being in this rotation.

love must be sincere. hate what is evil, cling to what is good. romans 12:9